Dear Harvard University

 As the oldest institution of its kind in the Americas, a member of the Ivy League, an incredulous influence on pop culture, an inventor of world-wide teaching methods, I feel, you, Harvard, are ready to take on a challenge…

I mean, here’s the deal; you have schooled some of the most influential people in the WORLD, probably invented a few classified theories and most likely came up with cures to a few diseases. You employ some smart people, Harvard. Which is why I think you, of all colleges, are ready to take on the largest subject of all; a subject that no college has yet been successful in cracking; so challenging that no one has even bothered to TRY…

Harvard, may I propose, you dabble in the study of…

Boys.in.bands.

No, but for real. A recent discussion left me with multiple question marks; it prompted me for answers.
Who are these creatures exactly? And how, JUST how exactly are they capable of having the same exact effect on you as some really good drugs?
They come through to your town, and get you on this ridiculous high...like you just love every minute that they’re here..but then as soon as they’re gone, it’s withdrawal city big time.
I feel like each and every single girl has been through this..and if she hasn’t, then clearly, and sadly, the poor thing just hasn’t lived.

And then there’s also the inevitable; that perfect boy in band, who’s impeccably witty and charming and sweet and funny and gorgeous, and remembers all your conversations and can pinpoint the exact moment you first met and seems to be almost as smitten by you as you are by him has just one little teeny tiny imperfection standing in the way; it just so happens he’s definitely attached.

I’m counting on you, Harvard professors, to educate me on exactly this dynamic works. Because, quite frankly, here’s the deal; in the majority of cases, most non-band boys in a relationship wouldn’t go as far as to remember the shade of your lipstick the very first time you ever met. In fact, most regular boys have trouble remembering the colour of their significant other’s eyes, let alone YOUR name… so why on earth do boys in bands remember the crazies details about YOU…not their gfs…YOU, giving you the most saddest of all false hopes…that there’s actually decent male species in this universe. It’s wrong and it should be unethical!

Then there’s the biggest mystery of it all; what is their secret?! How do they manage to charm the pants off off you?! (ahaha…no pun was initially intended!) What kind of spellbinding tactics do these boys employ that we are so ridiculously smitten, and would even fathom the idea of crazy non-logical thinking, like a potential rendezvous with an attached musician, even if you would NEVER, EVER in your entire life even think it with a boy not so musically inclined?
And how do these modern day Casanovas manage to keep us normally sane girls as their significant others even though you KNOW the nature of the industry and you know the consequences and the potential hazards in your relationship, yet you cant help but love the boy that will most likely hurt you like no one else ever before.

Hmmm…come to think of it Harvard, perhaps I can entice you to do another study:

boys in bands… and the sad, sad girls that love ‘em and will never, ever leave em…