9 posts tagged “gossip girl”
first Jessica Szhor.
now this:
what next? ED EFFIN' HARDY?!
you're so lucky i'm teetering on the edge of having no dignity left this week. i'll still do you.
call me.
your lawyer has my number. it's on the restraining order.
written in blood with hearts around it.
From time to time we post actual email conversations that us TBS gals partake in on a daily basis. Thought I would share one from this morning. And yes, we ARE this crazy.
Blair: As you can tell, I wasn't murdered on my way home last night. That said, I got onto a bus with the world's loudest Spanish people who proceeded to SCREAM Spanish love songs until Bloor Street. Urge to kill was high. Then they all got off but one guy who then decided he was god's gift and that he HAD to slime all over some innocent girl just trying to get home (not me, thank god). The last thing I heard was the girl saying "Can you please just leave me alone?!". So she might be dead. Anyways, how are your mornings?
Ang: Will I have to tackle Chuck Bass [from the show Gossip Girl -real name Ed Westwick - heading to Toronto on Sunday for the MMVAs} and lock Vanessa (Jessica Szohr - Ed's co-star and real life girlfriend] in a U-Haul truck on its way to Antarctica? I mean, I'll do it, but there’s gotta be an easier way!
Blair: Yes, yes you will have to tackle. Alternate plan: can you say 'fake pregnancy' Just sayin: You + Ed Westwick + Roofies = a plan.
Ang: Can you say 'real pregnancy' caused by roofies?
Blair
that's right kittens, as in the handsome Aaron Rose.
ok, so he was in like four episodes of the show but still..he was on GOSSIP GIRL. you're like instantly golden if you're like even a breather on the show..or something.
the dreamboat was spotted walking around the Annex area, which would totes make sense as the Scott Pilgrim movie is filming around here.
ya know, the one with Michael Cera and everyone else cool...which also happens to star US of Tara's Brie Larson (omg. best show ever and she's so freaking awesome in it)...who happens to be John Patrick's real-life gf. true story.
if he was walking with Chuck Bass, i would have lost my sh*t.
Oh man, I totally did it. This past weekend, curiousity got to me; I sold out to my neighbourhood and went to check out Jezebel's, the new buzzed about burlesque club all the papers have been buzzing about and us Oz hoodies have been less than thrilled to accept.
For the better part of me, I totally thought I wouldn't do it..would never go in there and cheat on my neighbouhood this way but a few wine glasses in (ok bottles...), I succumbed to Lucifer.
So I took the few steps from my humble abode and two seconds later as I was cautiously eyeing the big man bouncer that I'm still convinced is Lonnie, one-sixth of sexual chocolate aka one of NSYNC's tour bodyguards (um...i mean..what?!), my date for the evening schmoozed us right inside. Lonnie, if you're reading, you are one cool mofo, tell Timby I miss him, his mall tours and hiding in tour buses.
Anywhooooo...should have known from Lonnie's panic stricken face that the place was going to be wonky... and let me tell you! The place was a JOKE. The crampy looking nightclub looked alarmingly not burlesque. Alarmingly not cool. On the carpeted dancefloor - ew. carpeted - milled about the same lame crowd you'd find hanging out on Richmond Street; pathetic gold-digging 30-something year old botoxed women and skeezy cheap-colonged, cheap-suited (tailor those things!) douchebags. Special shoutouts to the stiches-attired looking tramp who spilled red wine on my two-months-worth-of-rent designer dress; I curse the day you discovered Ossington.
But I digress. As for the music? You know you're clearly in hell when the people inside the club start FREAKING.OUT. to Guns and Roses and AC/DC. I mean, I appreciate a fun tune, but come on. Seriously?!
Needless to say, this is not your Chuck Bass' burlesque club; didn't even see the actual burlesque dancers um..dance? Instead, they walked around looking like a cheap version of coney island circus sideshows, tickling you with feathers and saying the weirdest.things.
The only upside to this is that maybe the rift-raft from richmond and king streets will finally stop diseasing all the OTHER ossington bars on Saturday nights AND there has currently been buzz about a few local business owners starting a Ossington BIA to stop this kind of gross infestation. May I suggest my deeply thought out plan of a gated community?...
Go back to king/richmond/suburbs Jezebels and take out the trash with you.
P.S. Please consider changing your name to something like Trampo, or Skankbag or heck, even Gladys. I really liked the name Jezebel and then you came along and now I’m all queasy even thinking it in my head.
Of course you're the lead singer of a 'punk band.' Of course.
Of course you named your 'punk band' Pretty Reckless. Of Course.
Of course your band recently played a show in the Lower East Side. Of course.
Of course you look like you bought your outfit in the Courtney Love section of Hot Topic. Of course.
I hate you so much I want to vomit in your eye.
Video evidence of her annoying narcissism.
XOXO
Blair
P.S. I hope Leighton Meester and Blake Lively set your hair on fire. On or off screen.
P.P.S. I think I may have rage issues.
Well, aside from ours, that is!
hee!
But for reals; THIS BLOG completes me.
kudos to the girl behind it. She could totes so hold her own at our cocktail nights out with Leigh; I would totes tolerate her criticisms of my boyfriend Chuck's style ; and I bet, I BET she wears the heck out of a Paris/Rome/London white skirt - cause's she's effin cool like that!
Dear Jessica:
I strongly feel that you are not cute enough for Gossip Girl. You're more like.....a recurring character on Sesame Street who befriends Oscar the Grouch because they live in neighbouring gargabe cans and together you sing songs about shapes and seasons. Or something.
Oh em gee. I love her so much! SO MUCH!
How ridiculously cute does she look in this dress? RIDICULOUSLY CUTE!
Pretty sure there is nothing more in life I'd like than to style Leigh Meester...(cause if I were her stylist, pretty sure we'd be besties and she'd let me call her Leigh). And then we'd totally hang out and go out for cocktails in our matching Philip Lim dresses and she'd tell me all this gossip about how Ed Westwick totally wants me and we'd totally scheme the break up of him and Jessica Szhor and when it would finally happen, we'd totally go on double dates; me and eddie and her and the dude she's dating that was on like two episodes of the show.
Le sigh.
Hah! Get it? Polaris…Polarized…
Um…Anywhoo, always an exciting event (even if I never get chosen to determine the winner or get invited to it or have our awesome band We Are Scientologist shortlisted for it… ), tonight is the night that an 11-member jury of music crititics from around the country vote on the band/musical genius most worthy of the Polaris Prize.
The nominees – Black Mountain, Basia Boulat, Caribou, Kathleen Edwards, Holy Fuck, Plants and Animals, Stars, Shad, Two Hours Traffic, The Weakerthans – are from all over the country, all different styles of music and all typically rock out like no others.
Out of the ten nominated, I’ve seen six, so again, why they don’t ask me to judge is beyond me. It’s ok, I’ll just put my two cents worth here.
Let’s begin, shall we:
Black Mountain – Have yet to see them live. They seem swell, but I won’t comment further.
Basia Boulat – I’ve heard of the chickie but can’t say I know her material. Though, with a name like Basia, she must be Polish.
Caribou – Ditto. Not about the Polish; the material
Shad – I’ve seen the gentleman dj. Probably not the same as seeing him perform.
Kathleen Edwards – heart the lady! Two thumbs up, I hope she’s in the top three, if there is such a thing. But there isn’t, is there?
Stars – They’re good. Really good. I mean, who isn’t on this list…but I feel like if they were to win this prize, they should have done it a while ago, you know?
Plants and Animals – Judging from the sweat-infused, sold-out crowd and the hundreds of sheep without tickets trying to get in to their show at the Horseshoe Tavern last week, I say the kiddies definitely have had some good buzz going for them. The Horseshoe show was terrific and they could definitely be taking the $20,000 home!
Two Hours Traffic – Hello! They’re Plaskett’s lil protégés!...and one of their songs was featured on Gossip Girl! How can I not love them?! If they win, it would definitely be an amazing lil’ surprise! If I had TWO votes, they’d be one of em!
The Weakerthans – Again – amaze! Kind of like the Tragically Hip – but way better!
Holy Fuck – umm…IN LOVE. If I had one vote, it’d definitely be going to these kids! And it’s not just because us TBS ladies have mad crushes on the mega cuteness that is Brian Borchard and his remains (ahahah..get it? Cause he had another band..called The Remains…of Brian Borchard?..hah!)
So there you have it, folks, my run-down. If you ask me, I should definitely be invited to judge next them talents next year. Because, out of all of the awards out there in the world, as a self-professed can-rock loving geek, I feel my schooling in Canadian rock is top-notch. I swear it...'cause I mean, if Hannah Simone is on the jury...?!
Anywho, make sure to check the papers tomorrow for the winner and see if my prediction (…hope..whatever) of Holy Fuck comes true!
