8 posts tagged “heidi montag”
in L.A. and I'm not there to see it happen but they sell the pictures to USWeekly, do I still get to not care?
So Heidi "I Heart Jesus" Montag and Spencer "Douchebasket" Pratt got married over the weekend in Los Angeles.
Heidi wore a beautiful Monique Lhuillier wedding dress, and her hair was so bleached that people in the first two rows went temporarily blind. Spencer continued to look like a possessed cabbage patch doll. Kristen Cavallari of Laguna Beach "fame" caught the bouquet. Lauren Conrad showed up at the nuptials, thus fulfilling some sort of contractual obligation, no doubt.
Pictures posted here on popsugar, if you care: http://www.popsugar.com/3077785?page=0,0,0
I need a poptart and a percoset to get me through this one.
XOXO
Blair
Photo is from PerezHilton.com
This is a real-life email chain as exchanged by Blair and I this very afternoon. Corporate dollars well spent.
M.: deal of the century!!
Pay with your Visa card and you can save $1.50 off any Adult Value Meal at Burger King (in-store)
how embarrassing would that be????
Blair: you're talking to the girl who jumps out of bed with joy on Mondays because the $3.99 burger king extra value meal is the King Supreme sandwich
M.: stop the press
heidi montag is preggers.
Blair: whhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhat
no way
jesus will be so proud
M: she announced it on twitter.
Blair.: maybe it's an april fool joke
M.: it's NOT funny if it is!
Blair: gawd that kid would be dumb
M.: and hideous.
i hope it gets heidi's old nose as a daily reminder of she USED to look normal!
Dear Heidi Montag-Pratt?,
Hope all is well. Wanted to write and kindly suggest that perhaps all of the blonde hair dye/silicone/botox you've been using to go from a pretty, natural-looking girl from Colorado into fake-boobs-bleached-barbie-hair-nose-job-freakshow has messed with your head somewhat. You did after all willingly enter into a (possible fake) marriage with Captain Douchebag Spencer Pratt. Shudder. Anyways, I've caught wind of your Twitter page, and um, you mention my name. Like a lot. Please stop talking about me like we be homies.
Thanks in advane,
God
XOXO,
Blair
Photo Credit: Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic
Heidi Montag… er Pratt? got married last week while on vacation in Cabo San Lucas. Her and her dip-shit hubby Spencer Pratt got married with out any friends or family there. I wonder if that was by choice, or if it was because they were secretly afraid someone would stand up with a laundry list of reasons why these two should not be joined in matrimony.
Heidi’s own sister Holly found out from texts from friends who read about it on Perez Hilton.com. If my sister ever got married to a jerk-off like Spencer and didn’t tell me, she’d be off my Christmas list for sure! Disowned.
I’m completely disgusted by the whole thing and I feel horrible for Heidi’s family. Can you imagine how her mom must feel not being invited to her daughter’s wedding. Devastated I’m sure.
I don’t feel bad for Spencer’s parents. I feel they are well aware their son can’t be saved and therefore they’ve probably given up trying.
But... their respective families will be able to watch the nuptials on an upcoming episode of the Hills!!!! C'MON. you don't invite your FAMILY but the camera crew is there to film it???? that's is tacky and in completely poor taste.
I wish the newlyweds at least one more week of wedded bliss and lifetime of bickering, nagging, trial separations and pinball machines in the living room.
Cheers.
M
The world would be a happier place.
Heidi would still have her original nose.
Heidi would still have her average size boobs.
Heidi would still have friends
Heidi would not be the brainwashed automaton she is
Lauren Conrad would never have been the subject of a sex tape scandal
KFed would have been the only “celebrity” in his video.
Lauren and Jenn Bunny would never have fallen out, become re-‘friends’ for the cameras, and then proceed to never hang out again
Brody Jenner would still be unfamous
Heidi might be able to actually do some work at ‘work’
Audrina and Heidi would have nothing to talk about
Slimey douche bags of the world might still stand half a chance with a girl
The Hills would have been cancelled after Season 2.
... don't gasp. you know it's true. i love the Hills. LOVE IT. but i know that without Spencer there wouldn't be much going on in the show.
kiss kiss
M
Oh mon Dieu. Audrina. SHUT. UP. Take out a goddamn billboard and save your breath! So as you may have guessed Stephanie Pratt went on a date with Lauren’s Doug, and Audrina broadcast the news to everyone with ears. That’s a no no, ladies. You CANNOT go out with your girlfriends ex boyfriend, without prior discussion. Not, permission persay, but you do need to have a chat pre-date to make sure things are coolio with you and your girl, because good girlfriends are hard to find so no need to make unnecessary enemies with one over a boy. No boy is worth it!
So this week Lauren was away on vacay in the construction site, also known as Italy… another brilliant sound bite courtesy of LC “ Italy is kind of like a big construction site”…. Yes. I agree…? WTF??? Who comes home early from a vacation in ITALY???? I think she was just turned off by the fact that she had to wear flats the whole time, because “no one in Italy wears high heels?” Some of the conversations on this show make me feel like a MENSA member!!
Randomly did anyone else notice Lo had three beverages on her tray when she and Audrina lunched at Fred Segal???? THREE? Two fountain drinks, and a bottle of water. Is she perhaps diabetic or something? Or is there a new liquid diet I don’t know about??
Heidi and Audrina seem to be besties again, but the only thing they ever talk about is how they used to be friends. They’ve never said anything of substance to each other. And clearly Justin Bobby is not a fan of Speidi. I didn’t used to be a fan of JB, but he seems to have a good judge of character. He’s still a bad boyfriend, but he’s a good judge of character. I LUFT the way he snubbed Spencer at the X-Games party. So smooooth!
Next week’s epi, there’s gonna be tears!!! Can’t wait!
hearts and kittens
M.
It can’t be.Want to know how I know?
First, the girls are not that good at acting. Second it’s a replica of every 20 somethings real life.
So about the acting, when Audrina is told she has the opportunity of her short-lived, happened upon 'career'. She is told she’ll be helping run an exclusive label showcase for the White Tie Affair, and the whole time the head of PR is telling her this, she’s staring blankly into space. You can’t act that shit, yo. That’s real.
Stephanie exhibited the classic girl vs band boy flirting scenario. Who hasn’t been that girl that can’t believe this boy in a potentially hugely popular band has his nipples pierced or a tattoo in a random place or a crazy scar that you must see. Ladies. There’s no need to work this hard. Band boys are easy, and if you’re especially lucky you pick a boy in a band cool enough to have a rider and you’ll get free booze, a possible STD and a broken heart!
And while we’re still on subject of boys…. Justin Bobby is the epitome of every.single.boy the TBS ladies and I have ever, ever dated! Who believed for one minute that when JB said he’d for sure go to her showcase, that he would actually show up? NO ONE (except Audrina, what a dummy! She’s still young, she’ll learn!) That was the classic douche bag move! Say you’ll be there for something super important and then bail, either by not letting the girl know, or by making up some crazy excuse.
I do however think Speidi plan out their conversations for better ratings. There’s no other explanation for why Heidi is still with someone who treats your SISTER like she’s a homeless person you brought home. So I do sincerely hope that’s scripted and that when the cameras leave they are all besties, because otherwise I cannot see a redeeming quality in Spencer Pratt.
kisses.
M
I would just like to let you all know, that not all the tigerbeats are as critical of the Hills as Angela and Kelly. I was a late bloomer in joining the Laguna Beach craze way back when. I watched episodes sporadically when they first aired but got really into it when MTV started airing the re-runs. I never really gravitated towards LC (Lauren Conrad). She was kind of lack lustre, very plain jane blah. But I really felt for her when Jason kissed Jessica at the fashion show! Poor girl!! In the long run it turns out Jason really is the worst boyfriend evs, and she should have never got back with him. Girls are too often doormats and boys make us that way! We’re powerless against their good smell and broad shoulders! Gah!
So LC packs up and moves to LA and gets a life and her own show, and suddenly she was interesting!
I knew from the moment she moved in with Heidi Montag that, that friendship was gonna be T-R-O-U-B-L-E! C’mon, Lauren’s first real ‘job’ at Teen Vogue was to work the Young Hollywood party and what does her ‘best friend’ Heidi do? Crash the party, demand to be let in, and then sits exactly in the spot that Lauren is supposed to be guarding and thusly getting Lauren a stern talking to from Lisa Love. Which, if Lisa Love even looked at me I’d probs shit my pants! She’s scary! I cannot imagine what it must be like to know that come Monday morning you’re gonna be getting a lecture from her!
Her good friend Heidi thrives on drama, and Spencer Pratt is ideally suited for her. He saw his chance to make a name for himself beyond that reality show he appeared on about Brandon and Brody Jenner had a while back, Princes of Malibu (anyone remember that?). At first he wasn’t sure if he should go for Heidi or Audrina Partridge so he ‘dated’ both and started stirring the pot. He’s an attention craving whore and him and Heidi are a match made for reality tv. It makes me sick. I hope they live unhappily together forever saving the rest of us from their potential clutches. Puke.
And while I hate Spencer and Heidi for all their conniving and life ruining, they do make for interesting tv. Many a time I’ve watched the show and wanted to throw things at the tv, but I refrain. Instead I yell and stand on the couch, it’s a true story (ask my old roomie).
So in short, I heart the Hills. Mostly because I want to be them. Well you couldn’t pay me enough to work for Kelly Cutrone she’s a crazy bitch… ok, so maybs I just want to be friends with Lauren and Whitney. I’m neither here nor there on the other characters, they’re just supporting actors to me, adding to the interesting plot and keeping things “pretty, pretty. Happy, happy” to quote Kelly….
Counting down to the next epi,
M.
