2 posts tagged “reese witherspoon”

My gawd. What a borefest. Wish I had spent it watching the amazing race instead, but alas, wouldn’t have seen the train wreck that was this year’s Oscar. Note that I’ve seen like one movie and thought it was a bit ridiculous that the best movie of 08, Let the Right One In, was completely snubbed. What was up with that?!

Also, what is up with no one wearing short dresses to the Oscars? Is there something in the invite specifying that you can’t wear a short dress? Ball gowns make me yawn..you can still wear a shorter dress and look impeccably black-tie. So why is no one doing it? I would like to test this theory..someone please invite me to next year’s Oscars.

Regardless, here are some quick observations and random babble:

Tina Fey – omg! Is she wearing the same dress as Judd Apatow’s wife? How embarrassing! Nice jab at scientology, though. Ha ha!

Jennifer Aniston- totes enjoying the face and the hair! You know when you get all bitter after a break-up and then comes the day where you have to see your ex and his new hag of a gf/wife/whev and it makes you just want to vomit but you can’t even avoid it and the day comes and.. ta da! You look pretty awesome and you can’t help but beam because you actually look freakin’ awesome! J-Aniston, that was totes you! Who knew bitterness could do such wonders for the image!

Penelope Cruz- man, I loved the movie and all but listening to the woman talk? It’s just like chalk, my friends. Just like it.

I loves it when the Japanese win! They are so cute and polite and to the point and they say ‘sank’ and ‘berry’ and it’s the most awesome thing ever! More Japanese, please Oscar people!

Sarah Jessica Parker – hands down, the prettiest dress at the Oscars. The face? Still ugly.

Amanda Seyfried- love the girl on Big Love. Love love love. Althoughhhh…she’s wearing the same exact necklace as Taraji P. Henson. What is up with the chicks wearing the same thing as others? Isn’t that like the most embarrassing thing that could happen to you at the Oscars? Shouldn’t there be some sort of database for these leading ladies where you can log what you’re wearing so others don’t? come on now. For real.

Mkay. Now this is where it starts going all wrong….Mila Kunis?..High School Musical?... SEX AND THE CITY?!... even if they are showing romance randoms…these types of cheeses have no place at the Oscars! Just in my living room with a big bowl of ice cream and maybe some fine wine, ks?!

Ben Stiller- ?!?!?!? I’m sorry..but im not getting it… if this is his pathetic attempt of making fun of Joaquin Phoenix..then dude, that’s just completely classless. Seeing as there is a possibility of Joaquin having some sort of mental instability, why not go and make fun of the terminally ill as well? cancer patients? aids victims? seriously – what a douche! And whoever wrote/approved this script..where’d they find em? The unemployment line-up of douchebags that got laid off the VMAs? Razzies? For real.

Jessica Biel- what the eff is the bitch doing talking. At the Oscars? Isn’t dating Timby enough? Isn’t it?! Is there was an Oscar for WORST script reader ever, she’d definitely win…pretty sure I just heard people in the background laughing at her? Thanks for getting off the stage fairly quick though..please go back to elementary school to learn how to read proper. And shit.

Why do they keep incorporating movies that star seth cohen and such into Oscars? I am sooooooo confused by this year’s awards? It’s funny but I dun get it? … yet

again…

Hugh Jackman- for a second there, we thought he was going to imitate robber downey jrs character  in tropic thunder…all that bronzer! Still hot.

Oh gawd, beyoncee…who keeps inviting her to stuff? She just keeps getting more annoying!

I am so confused by the people who organized these awards..is there some sort of anniversary going on?  Mentioning films that were never nominated?

I CALLED that high school musical shit! Called it!

Hugh jackmane = SAME shade as Beyonce

Man on wire- magician dude- sooooo cute. Best dressed- magician in leather outfit.

Eddie Murphy - Dudes! I know the world’s in a recession but seriously…the Oscars couldn’t afford someone better than eddie Murphy?! Sheeeeit

Also..confused… YET again…did the oscars just recently give out stuff for funniness?

Here in good ol’ Canada, they keep showing southland commercials..you think its about ryan atwood becoming a cop? Like do we actually think Ryan Atwood can act not like Ryan Atwood? Should be interesting to see…

Time for the musical performances..anyone remember when NSYNC performed with Gloria Estefan?! They were robbed of that award…ROBBED!

Alicia keys- the little thing by her eye distracting me. It’s like those sleeps you get at the side of your eyes when you just wake up…that’s what her eyes look like..except I think it’s deliberate?!

Oh look. John legend! Brings back memories of how effin dumb kels and I were… when we saw him opening for the mess that is k-os. We were all john legend who?! fast forward to john legend performing an oscan nominated song… yeah.. THAT john legend… edit note: just found out Peter Gabriel actually sang the original song and didn’t want to come and perform a snippy little montage.. good on you, Pete…I would have done the same. These Oscars were lame-O!

Oh Reese Witherspoon! I will forever love you. Remember when you made me cry hysterically in an episode of Oprah when you talked about your favourite teacher? And then in that movie you did whenyou were sorta a ghost?

Love forever. Love love

Blah blah blah..me fell asleep awoke to the Lillith Fair: Actors edition: tour…:

Sophia Lauren looks browner than Hugh and Beyonce put together!

Kate Winslet for Oscar winner! Let Kate Winslet win!

Nicole Kidman has seaweed coming out of ther dress!

Eff Angelina.

Eff her.

Yeahhhhhhhh! Kate just won and to rebut popular opinion, I don’t think it’s bitchface Angie’s got going on..more like too much plastic surgery to smile properly.

Kate’s dad whistling…so cute! Was expecting Leo to be thanked for painting her naked..but no cigar. Dang.

Hoping Sean Penn wins…cause this one time..he waved at me and stuff. And there he goes, all winning and stuff! Randomly, this brings back regret number four in my life: not attending a Sean Penn party at a roof top of a hotel two years ago... one to which Kels and I were invited to.

Ok now for best picture….3 and a half motherfucking hours later!

Slumdog; guess I should take a few hours of my life and watch it?

What follows is my review of Four Christmases, starring Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon.

Vince looked bloated and tall, which is typical for someone who is fat and 6'5".

Reese looked adorable. Her hair was fantastic. So blonde. So pantene pro-v ice shine commercial.

Robert Duvall was weird casting as Vince Vaughn's father, as he's roughly 4 feet tall.

Kristin Chenoweth (playing Reese's sister) proved she may suck as an actress, but her breasts are extremely talented.

Random cameo by Tim McGraw playing Vince's borther Dallas. He grunted a lot and looked super greasy.

The first 45 minutes were totes hilarity. Laughed till it hurt.

Then it took a weird/sad turn and stopped being funny......and stayed that way.

And the ending was poop on toast.

Sigh. I'll purchase it on DVD once it hits the 2/$20 bin at HMV.

Synopsis on IMDB: When a couple tries to fly away from their family for Christmas, as they do every year, their fun turns around when all flights have been canceled. Now they have to go to four houses to celebrate Christmas while going through memories they don't want to go into and suprises they can't handle while they have to use a safe word to get out of situations

That is all.

XOXO

Blair