9 posts tagged “the hills”
in L.A. and I'm not there to see it happen but they sell the pictures to USWeekly, do I still get to not care?
So Heidi "I Heart Jesus" Montag and Spencer "Douchebasket" Pratt got married over the weekend in Los Angeles.
Heidi wore a beautiful Monique Lhuillier wedding dress, and her hair was so bleached that people in the first two rows went temporarily blind. Spencer continued to look like a possessed cabbage patch doll. Kristen Cavallari of Laguna Beach "fame" caught the bouquet. Lauren Conrad showed up at the nuptials, thus fulfilling some sort of contractual obligation, no doubt.
Pictures posted here on popsugar, if you care: http://www.popsugar.com/3077785?page=0,0,0
I need a poptart and a percoset to get me through this one.
XOXO
Blair
Photo is from PerezHilton.com
So the ladies and i were having a chat yesterday about the Hills star Lauren Conrad. Here is a transcript:
Blair: (stolen from ohnotheydidnt) Rumor, Rumor, Rumor -- An Intern at MTV says LC will move to Paris in the summer. MTV will film here there, she didn't like the idea because she wanted Season 4.5 to be the last season of The Hills but MTV told her they will pay her 150k - 200k an episode. MTV knows the Paris Episode in Season 3.5 was their most highest rated show so they want to capitalize on that. They are also willing to show LC's other life (her clothing line, she will be attending a fashion school in Paris, they are also talking to Kyle Howard about making an appearance). The rest of the cast have no idea what's going on, they thought they signed up for season 5 but they will not be in season 5, the Paris show will be a brand new show.
Miranda: i think i would do quite well with cameras following my every move for 150K per epi.
where do i sign up?
Blair: yeah
seriously
I really think I could deal with it
Angela: I concur.
And it makes me angry.
Our lives are way more interesting.
Of course, Im pretty sure my family would disown me if they find out how I roll, but Im also confident I could buy back their love.
Miranda: that's all entirely true.
they would disown you. but one little thing from burberry for your dad and he'd be right back wrapped around your little finger.
!!!
Kelly: that's insane! i love how we're stars in japan and get nothing!
I realize I don’t know you in real life, but I feel like the Hills is a sadly accurate portrayal of how you are in real life when the camera’s are off.
If I’m correct, then I would just like to tell you, as so many of your friends have, that Justin Bobby is a bad scene.
I’ve said this before, but you’re being dumb. Last night he said he ‘pretty much’ wants to be with you….. despite some unfortunate outfit choices, you deserve someone who WANTS to be with you, not someone who 90% of the time is interested in you. Every girl deserves someone who treats them well. You shouldn’t let yourself be walked on like that.
He will never be the boy you always think he’ll turn out to be. If he wanted to be with you, he would be. He’d call, he’d bring you gifts, he’d make an effort to be nice to your friends, and lastly he’d say he wants to be with you. Not that he maybe, kinda, sometimes wouldn’t mind being with you.
You can give the dirt bag a hair cut and some Tide detergent, but he’s still a dirt bag and he’s making you look really pathetic.
As hard as it is, you need to cut yourself off from JB, I promise you it’s the best thing for you. I know this for a fact because I’ve been in your shoes. Just cut him out like cancer and when you’ve had a chance to heal you’ll be ready to date a nice boy, who likes you and maybe one day you’ll be able to be in JB’s life as a friend and his jerkstore moves will have no power over you.
Sincerely yours,
M.
The world would be a happier place.
Heidi would still have her original nose.
Heidi would still have her average size boobs.
Heidi would still have friends
Heidi would not be the brainwashed automaton she is
Lauren Conrad would never have been the subject of a sex tape scandal
KFed would have been the only “celebrity” in his video.
Lauren and Jenn Bunny would never have fallen out, become re-‘friends’ for the cameras, and then proceed to never hang out again
Brody Jenner would still be unfamous
Heidi might be able to actually do some work at ‘work’
Audrina and Heidi would have nothing to talk about
Slimey douche bags of the world might still stand half a chance with a girl
The Hills would have been cancelled after Season 2.
... don't gasp. you know it's true. i love the Hills. LOVE IT. but i know that without Spencer there wouldn't be much going on in the show.
kiss kiss
M
Oh mon Dieu. Audrina. SHUT. UP. Take out a goddamn billboard and save your breath! So as you may have guessed Stephanie Pratt went on a date with Lauren’s Doug, and Audrina broadcast the news to everyone with ears. That’s a no no, ladies. You CANNOT go out with your girlfriends ex boyfriend, without prior discussion. Not, permission persay, but you do need to have a chat pre-date to make sure things are coolio with you and your girl, because good girlfriends are hard to find so no need to make unnecessary enemies with one over a boy. No boy is worth it!
So this week Lauren was away on vacay in the construction site, also known as Italy… another brilliant sound bite courtesy of LC “ Italy is kind of like a big construction site”…. Yes. I agree…? WTF??? Who comes home early from a vacation in ITALY???? I think she was just turned off by the fact that she had to wear flats the whole time, because “no one in Italy wears high heels?” Some of the conversations on this show make me feel like a MENSA member!!
Randomly did anyone else notice Lo had three beverages on her tray when she and Audrina lunched at Fred Segal???? THREE? Two fountain drinks, and a bottle of water. Is she perhaps diabetic or something? Or is there a new liquid diet I don’t know about??
Heidi and Audrina seem to be besties again, but the only thing they ever talk about is how they used to be friends. They’ve never said anything of substance to each other. And clearly Justin Bobby is not a fan of Speidi. I didn’t used to be a fan of JB, but he seems to have a good judge of character. He’s still a bad boyfriend, but he’s a good judge of character. I LUFT the way he snubbed Spencer at the X-Games party. So smooooth!
Next week’s epi, there’s gonna be tears!!! Can’t wait!
hearts and kittens
M.
It can’t be.Want to know how I know?
First, the girls are not that good at acting. Second it’s a replica of every 20 somethings real life.
So about the acting, when Audrina is told she has the opportunity of her short-lived, happened upon 'career'. She is told she’ll be helping run an exclusive label showcase for the White Tie Affair, and the whole time the head of PR is telling her this, she’s staring blankly into space. You can’t act that shit, yo. That’s real.
Stephanie exhibited the classic girl vs band boy flirting scenario. Who hasn’t been that girl that can’t believe this boy in a potentially hugely popular band has his nipples pierced or a tattoo in a random place or a crazy scar that you must see. Ladies. There’s no need to work this hard. Band boys are easy, and if you’re especially lucky you pick a boy in a band cool enough to have a rider and you’ll get free booze, a possible STD and a broken heart!
And while we’re still on subject of boys…. Justin Bobby is the epitome of every.single.boy the TBS ladies and I have ever, ever dated! Who believed for one minute that when JB said he’d for sure go to her showcase, that he would actually show up? NO ONE (except Audrina, what a dummy! She’s still young, she’ll learn!) That was the classic douche bag move! Say you’ll be there for something super important and then bail, either by not letting the girl know, or by making up some crazy excuse.
I do however think Speidi plan out their conversations for better ratings. There’s no other explanation for why Heidi is still with someone who treats your SISTER like she’s a homeless person you brought home. So I do sincerely hope that’s scripted and that when the cameras leave they are all besties, because otherwise I cannot see a redeeming quality in Spencer Pratt.
kisses.
M
Lauren Conrad, commonly known as LC from the Hills and Laguna Beach MTV series, has just inked a three book deal. "It's definitely influenced by my own life," Conrad tells PEOPLE. "The books are about a girl who moves to L.A. and stars in a reality show, so obviously there are some similarities."
I’m slightly bitter and she’s slightly blah. The life and times of us TBS ladies would be an outstanding literary piece/ big screen movie. You can’t dream up stuff that we’ve lived! You can’t!
HarperCollins, call us we’d love to talk numbers.
Muah.
M.
I would just like to let you all know, that not all the tigerbeats are as critical of the Hills as Angela and Kelly. I was a late bloomer in joining the Laguna Beach craze way back when. I watched episodes sporadically when they first aired but got really into it when MTV started airing the re-runs. I never really gravitated towards LC (Lauren Conrad). She was kind of lack lustre, very plain jane blah. But I really felt for her when Jason kissed Jessica at the fashion show! Poor girl!! In the long run it turns out Jason really is the worst boyfriend evs, and she should have never got back with him. Girls are too often doormats and boys make us that way! We’re powerless against their good smell and broad shoulders! Gah!
So LC packs up and moves to LA and gets a life and her own show, and suddenly she was interesting!
I knew from the moment she moved in with Heidi Montag that, that friendship was gonna be T-R-O-U-B-L-E! C’mon, Lauren’s first real ‘job’ at Teen Vogue was to work the Young Hollywood party and what does her ‘best friend’ Heidi do? Crash the party, demand to be let in, and then sits exactly in the spot that Lauren is supposed to be guarding and thusly getting Lauren a stern talking to from Lisa Love. Which, if Lisa Love even looked at me I’d probs shit my pants! She’s scary! I cannot imagine what it must be like to know that come Monday morning you’re gonna be getting a lecture from her!
Her good friend Heidi thrives on drama, and Spencer Pratt is ideally suited for her. He saw his chance to make a name for himself beyond that reality show he appeared on about Brandon and Brody Jenner had a while back, Princes of Malibu (anyone remember that?). At first he wasn’t sure if he should go for Heidi or Audrina Partridge so he ‘dated’ both and started stirring the pot. He’s an attention craving whore and him and Heidi are a match made for reality tv. It makes me sick. I hope they live unhappily together forever saving the rest of us from their potential clutches. Puke.
And while I hate Spencer and Heidi for all their conniving and life ruining, they do make for interesting tv. Many a time I’ve watched the show and wanted to throw things at the tv, but I refrain. Instead I yell and stand on the couch, it’s a true story (ask my old roomie).
So in short, I heart the Hills. Mostly because I want to be them. Well you couldn’t pay me enough to work for Kelly Cutrone she’s a crazy bitch… ok, so maybs I just want to be friends with Lauren and Whitney. I’m neither here nor there on the other characters, they’re just supporting actors to me, adding to the interesting plot and keeping things “pretty, pretty. Happy, happy” to quote Kelly….
Counting down to the next epi,
M.
Because the last time I checked, some of us were still giving a flying eff about reality show (snort), The Hills. Really, people. Why are we still giving a flying eff about that show?!
Attention: No hate mail, please. I’m currently offending ½ of the tigerbeats but it has to be said.
So really, I don’t get it. The season before last, I stopped getting mtv and stopped caring about LC (yes, LC, cause spencer still calls her that! hah!), got into it last season again via the magic that is the eeenternet, but as I watched, the previous season off must have really transformed me cause I was free of the show’s spell. And lemme tell you! It was amaze! Don’t get me wrong, there. Oh, I still watched. But this time, purely for the amusement of watching the stupidity.
Like, really? We’re entertained by this?...
Take Lauren, for instance. This whole beef she has with Heidi? My gawd, GET.OVER.IT! do we even know what it’s all about?! Do we all still think it’s cause of some sex tape that LC made, that apparently Spencer leaked to the press? Cause let’s pretend it is, why are you even making a sex tape, child? Even if it wasn’t leaked… why are you making one? Like, do people actually watch themselves having sex? I dun get it…. ? Is it a thing you do for fun? Or to analyze and improve on your moves? No seriously, someone please enlighten me.
Then there’s Audrina; they couldn’t have casted..erm, sorry, I mean, picked a friend that didn’t have a wonky eye? Cause it gets distracting… but that’s all I’m gonna say, because at least the girl had some decency to take up with Justin Bobby, who I will forever treasure, for bringing some sort of captivity to the joke that is the show.
Lo was also better as the chick that was never on. Because she’s REALLY annoying. And evil. And actually, not at all cute. I mean, people if you’re going to give me some crappy-ass show, at least give me pretty people to stare at, encouraging my bulimia and self-esteem, issues, etc, because currently, I’ve got nothing.
Which brings me to Brody. Here’s the trick with casting kids, … kids: just because they’re ridiculous good looking in real-life, doesn’t mean that will translate onto the screen. Because people, when I saw Brody in real life, he was GORGEOUS. Trust. On the screen: he so blah!
Whitney used to be my fave…until I found out she’s a bit time b*tch. If you’re not going to act like it on ‘reality tv’, then why even bother? Whit, you disappoint me.
The one good thing is that that really irritating times a millions camera/attention ho jenn is no longer on the show. Though Im sure she’s bound to weasel her way in. igck.
Oh and one more: Spencer! I’m totallllly all about Team Spencer. Come on, now; he is by far the greatest entertainment that is that show and for the regular population to hate him that much just proves my point. He’s awesome, I love him. Charming and incredibly hilarious; and I’m sure in real life, just like Brody, probs a looker. Dump Heidi already, Spencer. She keeps getting more mangled looking. Remember season 1 where she was actually pretty? And then she had to go and get the same plastic surgeon as Tori Spelling…you’d think the dude would have already had his license revoked..geeze!
Oh yeah and the plot, because I guess that why we’re all watching, right? Riiight?... Could it actually be more lame?! Like, really. They have the most bullsh*t conversations ever and the only reason we give a flying eff is because of their somewhat, and I use the word lightly, careers. Pretty much it, folks. Pretty much it. Give us tigerbeats and mtv crew, and we’ll give you a show. Boy, will we ever!
